| The Life of Dr. J.R. Miller |
Chapter 11 |
Page 7 |
A stranger explained that her husband of a year had left her, and refused to return. Both husband and wife were unknown to Dr. Miller, but he went out at once, found the man, and persuaded him to go home for a conference with his wife. He himself went with the husband. For two hours the three were together. When Dr. Miller left the house the home which had been threatened with destruction was out of danger. From that day husband and wife dated the real beginning of their happiness. Next day Dr. Miller wrote them a long letter. Here are some paragraphs:
“You do not begin to understand my loving interest in you and your husband, and my desire for the complete restoration of the happiness of your home. It must not be possible for you two dear lovers to fall apart. Nothing really serious has happened to mar your fellowship. You have not understood each other quite perfectly – that is all – and you have not had quite patience enough with each other, so things have gone wrong a little, and your relations have become a bit tangled. But it is going to be all right now. You will not let anything so small do you both and your home such harm.
“Longfellow tells of going out one morning after a heavy night storm, and walking through his garden. Under a tree he saw a birds’ nest lying on the ground. He pitied the birds, and stood there thinking sadly of their misfortune. But while he was musing, he heard a chattering overhead, and, looking up, saw the little birds busy building their nest again. They were not defeated nor greatly discouraged by the disaster.
“That is what I am sure you and your husband are doing already. The storm came and swept your nest to the ground. Yesterday it seemed to you that it could not be restored. But now you have taken time to think, and are bravely building the nest again. And it is going to be more beautiful, and fuller of love, joy and song than ever it has been before.
“It may not seem very easy to save your home after all that has happened, but no matter what it costs, it will be a thousand times worth doing. Love is the sweetest thing in the world, but love is not easy. It means much self denial, much forgetting of one’s own wished, much restraining of one’s own impulses, much curbing and checking of one’s own feelings. St. Paul tells us that ‘love suffereth long, and is kind… doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not its own, is not provoked, taketh not account of evil;… beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.’ It is not easy to love in this way. It takes the grace of God in our hearts to enable us to love after this fashion.
“You and your husband love each other. You have not forgotten the lover days. When you were first married, your love was deep and tender. Somehow you have not always been happy since. Little things have come in to make you unhappy some days. But your love is really true and strong as ever. It would break your hearts to be separated. All you want is to get this love into the common relations of your lives. You have not quite learned yet how to deny yourselves and give up for each other.
“There are wondrous possibilities in your married life. You two dear young people may be the happiest in the city, and your home may become the sweetest, happiest home in all the community. All you need in order to realize these possibilities is love worked out in thought, in word, in act, in disposition. Do not blame each other when things go awry – blame each, yourself. Never allow yourself to be vexed or hurt, at least to show it, no matter how much you think you have been wronged, or how unjustly you think you have been treated. Love each other as Christ loves you. Repay unkindness with kindness. If you think you have been unfairly treated, or unkindly, be especially kind in return. That is the way to pay back an evil thing done to you.
“God bless you. I believe that a year from now you will tell me you have had the happiest year you ever have had; that the nest which the storm tore down has been built again, and is more beautiful than ever it was before.”
The letter in full is given in the chapter “Building Again the Home Nest” in “The Gate Beautiful.”
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